Confession time

I feel I should 'fess up when I go offplan. It may not be as inspiring as if I stay on plan all the time, where you can think, if she can do it, so can I. Instead, now you think, she failed, so will I. But I want to be honest and share my mistakes--maybe there is something to learn from them without repeating them yourself. So last week, I deviated for a couple of days. The last time I did this was in early December when I was in France. So I guess I made it about 10 weeks; the previous stretch was 10 months, so this is a bit disappointing. Oh well, try try again. What were my reasons? Well, the brain can manufacture good reasons any time, any day, so I don't think that matters. I can tell you that being tired is a big warning flag so watch out for the rationalizations when you are tired--you are much weaker. And it also started out by eating too much rich healthy food, so that's another warning flag. For me, being tired and/or overeating healthy food are both danger zones where vigilance against excuses should be exercised. Your brain is always ready with millions of excuses and they are just that, excuses, so you have to learn to ignore them.

So on Wednesday and Thursday, I had some decaff coffee, some dark chocolate, a vegan burrito', 2 big cookies, 2 small cookies (vegan), some granola and soy milk, some tortilla chips with salt, and some nuts with salt. Well, the salt was very appealing. That is what makes the burrito taste good. But it had a negative affect especially on my healing arm. My arm and hand swell very easily so of course they swelled even more after eating that salt.

I felt quite yucky upon eating this stuff and got even more tired. For the first time in years, I fell asleep during a talk. Fortunately, I got tired of this after two days and started lusting after my healthy foods, and I got back on track on Friday. Both Friday and Saturday, I felt very tired and headachey--I never get headaches when I eat right!. Amazing, isn't it? Today, Sunday, I feel good again. whew. This week I will have a visitor and we will be going to nice vegetarian restaurants, but even there, I can't eat the food. It is so salty and oily. The salt is good going down but too unpleasant afterwards. It is a shame that I can't partake in the restaurant food because I really enjoy communal eating. But that is just the way it is. I will bring my food or eat beforehand and then just order some plain unappetizing salad.

As a good friend of mine says, "Onwards!"