A strange quirk as of late

I've been doing something very weird lately. I've been watching the Food Network. I think I will stop now as it's probably a dangerous thing to do, but it was kind of fascinating, and I think it says a lot about the culture we live in. I was expecting more cooking shows but it's mostly about restaurant food--at least when I've watched, which is around prime time. There are shows about "diners, dives, and drive-ins" (my favorite), and your favorite foods (at so-and-so restaurant), and how various convenience foods are made. And then of course, there are the chef competitions. In all of them, you get to see what goes into the meals, and that is shocking to someone who tries to avoid oil, salt and processed foods.

I'm not sure what my motivation is for watching these. When I used to eat like everyone else, I was always in search of a good diner, dive, or drive-in when I travelled and wasn't very good at finding them. So I guess that show is the answer to the dreams of my previous life. Part of me wishes I could go and try out those restaurants. Is it food porn? I vicariously enjoy the forbidden "fruit" (though it's anything but fruit in this case) by watching instead of eating? Is it grotesque fascination, like some people are drawn to horror movies? I was thinking, if I had 3 months to live, or if I wanted to commit suicide, should I travel to all these highlighted diners, dives, and drive-in and get the kind of foods I used to dream about? In reality I'd be trading my health for these meal pleasures and I'd need to add coffee to perk me up and alcohol to wind me down to keep me going through this. But that would be enjoyable too. Would I be happy? I don't know. Probably for a few months.